24th Chisleu
December 9th
Dear Diary,
This has been a very, very hard day. I am
almost too weary to write, but I must because such
memorable things are happening. My body is being wracked with pain. I’ve clung to the poor donkey’s neck and I let
my veil conceal my face so
Yosef would not see how difficult it has been for me. Not that I fooled him for one
moment. He is so anxious, he keeps asking whether or not we
should press on to reach Beth Lechem’s khan, (inn), by nightfall or if he should let me rest more often.
As it is, many have
tramped on ahead. We are left behind with the roving wild animals, the geshem,, and perhaps even bandits for company.
But I do not need to think of that. My emotions are fragile for
many reasons, somehow, I still know that Adonai, hallowed be His Name, will care for us and His own beloved Son.
24 Chisleu
December 9th
continued
This page will surely be unreadable because I
can’t keep the tears from falling. We finally reached Beth Lechem by nightfall but there was no room at the khan, no room at all! All the
rooms above the shelter for the animals were overcrowded with wealthy wayfarers, much wealthier than us. In the courtyard
below, the animals had scarcely enough room to shuffle around.
The innkeeper seemed
apologetic, but helpless. Yosef pleaded for him to
suggest someplace—anywhere for us to stay, but the poor, overwrought innkeeper shook his
head sorrowfully.
“I am sorry. So
sorry,” the innkeeper said, stroking his long, wavy beard agitatedly. He lifted his hand to
point at the people crowding around.
“See this multitude?
They too are in the same predicament that you are in.”
“But is there not
somewhere, anywhere that we can go?”
In Yosef’’s desperation, he reached out to clutch the steward’s
striped garment.
“Look, it is not for
me that I am concerned,” Yosef continued, “t
is for my wife! She is
young, slight of build, yet great with child. I
fear that all this
traveling may bring travail upon her earlier than it
ought. We
need to find a shelter where she can rest.”
The paunchy
innkeeper’s brow furrowed as he gazed around, as if looking for direction. Someone plucked
at his sleeve, demanding attention, with a scowl he nudged him aside.
“On yonder ridge is the town, but you will fare no
better there. Nary a house is not overfilled with guests at this time. Many have long awaited the census already, and I fear no
one is willing or able to take in more travellers.”
“But is there no where
for us to go?
We are of the lineage of David!”
‘”The lineage of David? Aye, that should
help, should help. Know you not of any relative you could stay with?”
Yosef wrung his hands. “I know of none. We should have inquired earlier..
Yosef wrung his hands. “I know of none. We should have inquired earlier..
The innkeeper stepped back and fumbled
with his sash. “This small town is not able to contain all those of David’s
line.” He finally admitted, sighing heavily.
“Yonder ridge has its
share of caves. Many of them will be used as stables in this present predicament, but
if you can find a little rest in one of them, you are welcome to it. I will send a servant
after you with fresh straw.
“If you require a
midwife before the night is
over,
I may find a moment to check into
it, but it will be nigh impossible to secure one at this time. More than one
woman is in the same dire
condition as your sweet
wife.”
In gratitude, Yosef
took his hand, clasped it, then reached for the lead strap on the donkey so we could
clamber awkwardly down among the rocks in search of a grotto turned into a
stable. I lowered the veil back over my face, lest Yosef would see the despair
written there.
We did find a cave,
however, without too much searching.
When Yosef
was able to get the clay lamp lit, it seemed more cozy and inviting. It was
rather crowded, unfortunately. Yosef is trying to
persuade some of our fellow cave dwellers
to take their lowing, smelly, burden bearers and hustle off to give us a measure of
peace.
I am so weary that all
I want to do is remove my wet garments, find something dry to wear, and try to rest. Yosef was rather anxiously fluffing up the fresh straw, which
was delivered by a young
lad with a hand cart, he is now shaking out our blanket.
I laid the baby’s swaddling strips near the fire to
dry. Fortunately, we had kept one
blanket packed
well
so it wouldn’t get wet on the trip. It was somewhat damp in a couple places but it was better than nothing. We
sat beside a central
fire until I was warmed up, which seemed to take
forever, then
we crawled
under our one rather thin blanket
together.
In the stall next to
ours are two donkeys, tied up,
their
owners are lounging against a nearby wall. At the far end of the cave, there is some activity going on. I think
a shepherd is about to aid a ewe
giving birth. Will there be two male ‘lambs’ born before the night is o’er?
24th Chisleu
December 9th
Dear Diary,
I feel that my time is drawing nigh, I am anxious. It
is frightening to think
of having my baby without my mother, or a midwife nearby. I am worried about the baby. What
will happen if He comes before we can move on to a better dwelling?
This cave is not clean enough!
Two of the wayfarers,
a middle-aged couple, were cooperative and helped us out. Some of the others growled that they were here first and were not at all inclined to be agreeable under such chilly weather conditions.
I fear they have been
indulging too long in the wine that is red.
Oh, surely, surely Adonai, hallowed be His Name, will be with me during this difficult time. My every breath is a prayer that Adonai will
protect His own Beloved Son and me.
By the dejected slope
of Yosef’’s shoulders, I can sense that he feels that he has somehow
failed me and us. I must stop writing now and tell him how warm and inviting it all looks by
the light of the lamp. Surely these stabbing pains will ease now that I have a
place to rest. It seems too soon for the little one to make His appearance.
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