Suffering!

This is based on a true happening. I am trying to 'walk where they walk' and perhaps where you also walk. May you feel cherished.

Dear Diary,

I have never known such stress in my life: both good stress and bad. Yesterday we were able to bring our little baby home. He is so sweet, and already so precious. The flight back seemed so long and I was eager to see our other adopted boy and hold him in my arms once again. I wonder how they take to each other.

Dear God, Hold me, please, please hold me close. I find breathing so hard. It’s making me want to panic. Lord, there can’t be something wrong! It is supposed to be the happiest years of our life. We just got our second child after so many years of waiting.

Oh, thank you for helping me relax. Thank you for such a caring Christian husband.

Dear Diary,

My worst fears were confirmed, and a round of chemo has begun. How will I ever cope? I feel so weak and nauseated already, and to think of this going on day after day, week after week until—no I won’t go there. There will be breaks in between when I am feeling better.

I want so much to be there for our precious little boys. How can I ‘be there’ for them when I am feeling so ill?

Dear Diary,

We are staying at Kale’s folks for a while. The adjustment isn't too bad. It’s good to get off my feet and not feel so responsible. Kale’s Mom is so good with the children. She doesn't mind playing with them by the hour. Kevin is great, also. They are so patient with the boys. I wonder if they know how grateful I am for all they do for us.

Dear Diary,

I see the strain in Polly’s ( Kale’s Mom’s) eyes. I know she worries, they all do, and I wish I wasn't such a burden. If it wasn't for the comforting Presence of our Heavenly father I don’t know how we would get through this terrible time.